The Sixth Sitter Quit
As she picked up the phone, Bridget had a feeling of dread. The voice on the other line was the babysitter informing her that she could no longer come to watch her little girl. As she hung up the phone, tears welled up in her eyes. This was the sixth sitter who refused to watch her kids.
The Sixth Sitter Quit
Bridget Needed Help
Bridget was a single mother of three trying to make it after a sudden divorce. She was struggling to keep her job, and she needed someone to watch her young children while she was gone.
Bridget Needed Help
Bridget Finds a Sitter
Since getting a full-time job, Bridget struggled to find a sitter for her kids. She finally found Lisa, who seemed like she would be happy to watch her son, Kirk, and daughter, Marie.
Bridget Finds A Sitter
Everything Started Out Well
Bridget was so happy. Things with Lisa were starting out very well. After just a couple of weeks, it almost felt like she was part of the family. The kids loved her, and she seemed like she loved the kids. But, things were not as happy as they seemed.
Everything Started Out Well
Lisa Quit Unexpectedly
About three weeks after Lisa was hired, Bridget got a phone call. Lisa was quitting, and she asked for her final paycheck. She was cold and insistent that she was done with the job, and Bridget was just stunned. What had happened?
Lisa Quit Unexpectedly
Lisa Blames Marie
After a lot of convincing, Lisa finally revealed to Bridget why she was leaving. She blamed it all on Bridget’s 6-year-old daughter, Marie. Bridget was furious. What could a little girl have done to cause the babysitter to quit?
Lisa Blames Marie
Five More Sitters Quit
Over the next few weeks, Lisa hired five more sitters. However, they all quit quickly, some within a matter of days. She was heartbroken and confused. Sure, her kids could be a handful, but all kids are, right?
Five More Sitters Quit
Bridget Had to Get Answers
Bridget knew she had to get some answers. She had just hired her seventh nanny in only a few months, Meg, but this time, Bridget was going to set up nanny cams. Was Marie really the cause of this?
Bridget Had To Get Answers
Two Weeks Pass
Like before, two weeks pass and Meg quits. Again, Bridget was shocked because things seemed to be going so well. As Meg left on her final day, Bridget knew she would have to take a look at the nanny cam footage.
Two Weeks Pass
Bridget Couldn’t Believe It
It took some time, but Bridget finally was able to take a look at the video footage. She could see that Marie acted like a perfect angel when the babysitters started, but after a few days, things changed.
Bridget Couldn’t Believe It
A Little Brat
Bridget was shocked by Marie’s behavior. Her daughter was defiant, she told Meg that she wasn’t her boss, and she very obviously wasn’t listening. She didn’t act like this in front of Bridget, so why did she do it to the sitters? Bridget was angry.
A Little Brat
The Final Straw
Bridget watched wide-eyed as she saw what happened on Meg’s last day. Meg asked Marie to be quiet because Kirk was sleeping, and Marie started shouting. “No! You aren’t my boss! I’ll get you fired.”
The Final Straw
Bridget and Marie Have a Talk
At this point, Bridget went right to Marie, and she sat the 6-year-old down for a serious talk. She showed Marie the footage and asked her why she is acting like that. Marie replied, “We pay her, I’m her boss,” and she ran out of the room in a huff.
Bridget And Marie Have A Talk
The Struggle
With no babysitter, Bridget was struggling. Marie was upset, too, because she couldn’t get to her swimming lessons or any other activity. Bridget reminded Marie that it was her fault that there was no babysitter there.
The Struggle
Marie’s Punishments
In addition to missing out on her activities, Bridget also gave Marie other punishments. She was not able to go to play dates any longer, and she could not use her iPad. Bridget posted all of this onto a parenting Facebook group to see what other parents thought.
Marie’s Punishments
Online Reactions
Bridget got a lot of reactions to her posts in the parenting group, including posts from other babysitters. They explained that Marie already had a reputation in the babysitting community, and it might be hard to find a sitter.
Online Reactions
Other Babysitters Chime In
Other babysitters chimed in on the posts, too. One of them explained that she had a similar issue, and after talking to the parents, they were able to tackle the problem on both sides.
Other Babysitters Chime In
A Professional Opinion
A professional shared her opinion, too. She said it sounded like Marie was unhappy with the situation and simply acting out. Did Bridget make a mistake in leaving Marie home in the first place?
A Professional Opinion
The Bigger Issue
The professional on the site went on to explain that what Marie is doing is fairly normal, especially after going through the divorce and having her mom gone all day. Perhaps Bridget had to explain the issue a bit better.
The Bigger Issue
You Need to Tell Them Why
One thing that parents can do to make things easier in this situation is to explain the “why” to their children. Instead of just expecting that Marie would accept a babysitter, Bridget should have explained why it was like this.
You Need To Tell Them Why
Kids Need to Feel Emotionally Safe
Making sure kids feel emotionally safe is very important. Most kids want to be with their parents all of the time, but that’s not the reality of most of our lives.
Kids Need To Feel Emotionally Safe
Marie was Feeling Emotional Pain
According to the professional, Marie was feeling emotional pain, and in response, she began to act out. In other words, her behavior was like a call for help. Was Bridget wrong by punishing Marie?
Marie Was Feeling Emotional Pain
Teach and Listen
Teaching kids what is right and wrong is the job of any parent, and sometimes, yes, that includes punishments. However, that’s not the only issue here. Bridget’s one mistake is that she didn’t listen to the real message Marie was trying to share.
Teach And Listen
Offer Support
Parents need to support their children in these times. Though Bridget was correct in punishing Marie for her behavior, she then needed to try to understand why Marie was acting out in the first place.
Offer Support
Someone Might Have Influenced Marie, Too
It is also possible that someone may have told Marie that she was the boss of her babysitters, and she could tell them what to do. Bridget overlooked this possibility as well. She ended up looking up info about introducing a child to the idea of a babysitter.
Someone Might Have Influenced Marie, Too
Bridget’s First Mistake
As she started researching Bridget realized that she had made a big mistake when introducing the idea of a babysitter to her kids. She didn’t warn them, and she didn’t talk to them about it.
Bridget’s First Mistake
A Good Idea
If you are in a similar situation as Bridget, consider inviting the babysitter over to get to know the kids with you there instead of just leaving them alone without warning. Ask them to dinner or go to the park.
A Good Idea
Play Some Games
Another thing that you can do when having a babysitter meet the kids is to play some games together. This allows the children and babysitter to bond a bit, and it also helps to build communication.
Play Some Games
Spend the Day Together
You also might want to consider having the babysitter spend the whole day at the house with a parent present. This can help the babysitter see the family routine, and it helps to further cement the bonding time.
Spend The Day Together
A Trick With Toys
There is another thing that might help, too, and it involved a trick with a toy. No child likes when things are inconsistent, and it can make them feel uncomfortable when in these situations. If they know what is happening, they can prepare.
A Trick With Toys
Toys With Tasks
Toys can be a lifesaver, and that’s the trick. When you ask your child to do a task, even a simple one like going to bed or brushing their teeth, give them a toy. Then, when they do this with the babysitter, it has a sense of normalcy.
Toys With Tasks
Let Them Take the Lead
Another thing you can try with your children when getting them used to a babysitter is to let them take the lead. Let your children show the babysitter where things are or show them what the routine is instead of you doing it.
Let Them Take The Lead
They are Not the Boss
It’s also very important for you to make sure your child knows that they are not the boss. They cannot be bossing adults around, even if they think that they are in charge. Respect for adults is important for children.
They Are Not The Boss
Allow the Sitter to Give Time Outs
It’s also very important that you establish that the sitter can give time outs and punishments just like the parents. There is nothing wrong with a babysitter restricting access to the iPad or putting the child into time out.
Allow The Sitter To Give Time Outs
Talk About It
You also want to make sure that you are talking to your children about their feelings. Ask them how they feel about having a babysitter, and if they are uncomfortable, come up with a solution, together.
Talk About It
Other Stories
Sometimes the opposite is true, and babysitters quit because of the parents. In this case, the babysitter was employed by a wealthy family. She didn’t have a set schedule, and instead, relied on the parents to tell her when she was needed.
Other Stories
No Schedule
In a conversation with the father, he said that he “may” need her to come at 1pm on Monday, but he had to check with his wife. She didn’t hear from him until 12:55pm on that Monday, and he was waiting for her to get there.
No Schedule
A Misunderstanding
The babysitter told the father that he had not confirmed, but she could be there in 30 minutes. That wasn’t acceptable to him, and he was angry. She asked if she should come at 5pm, as that’s when he often needs her, but he hung up on her without answering.
A Misunderstanding
He Calls Back
A bit later, he calls her back, furious. “Are you really not going to show up twice in one day?” The babysitter was confused. “You said you didn’t need me, today.” He replied “Be proactive! We need to know that you really care for our children.”
He Calls Back
She Quits
The babysitter was not going to put up with this. The father started calling her names and she immediately put in her two-week notice. Right before she was supposed to go back again, she got a letter from the father saying she was no longer needed because she was “endangering” the children.
She Quits